How to Help Your Child Settle Into University Life (Even When It’s Overwhelming)
The transition from sixth form to university is one of the most exciting and challenging times in a young person’s life. It marks a new chapter of independence, but also comes with plenty of uncertainty. As a parent, watching your child move away and start university can be both a proud and anxious experience. While you can’t be there every day, there are meaningful ways you can help them find their feet.
Expect the Emotional Rollercoaster
Even the most confident students can feel overwhelmed once the initial buzz of moving in fades. Your child may seem excited one day and discouraged the next. That’s normal. Remind them that feeling unsettled is part of the process and doesn’t mean they’re failing to adapt. Sometimes just listening, without trying to fix things, is the most valuable support you can offer.
Encourage Routine, Not Rigidity
One of the biggest shifts your child faces is the lack of structure. With more flexible timetables and no one checking in, it’s easy to lose rhythm. Gently suggest they create a basic weekly routine—balancing lectures, study, meals, exercise, and downtime. This can give them stability without being too restrictive.
Be Open to Their Changing Priorities
At university, your child will meet new people, explore different interests, and likely shift their views. While that might feel unfamiliar, it’s a natural part of their growth. Staying curious and supportive, rather than overly protective, helps them feel safe in exploring who they’re becoming.
Stay Connected Without Hovering
A quick message, call, or care package can mean a lot, especially during tougher weeks. At the same time, avoid checking in too often or expecting instant responses. Giving space shows trust and helps your child develop confidence in managing their own life.
Normalise Asking for Help
Make sure your child knows that universities offer plenty of support. These include: mental health services, academic advisors, and student wellbeing teams. Encourage them to reach out when needed. And remind them that Ashbourne College remains a lasting source of support. Many former students stay in touch and reflect on how the habits they developed here still guide them through life at university.
Remember: It’s Their Journey
It can be tempting to jump in with advice, especially if they’re struggling. But sometimes the most effective support is helping them think things through on their own. A gentle “What do you think you’ll do next?” can empower them far more than a direct solution.
Reassure Them (And Yourself)
Settling into university life takes time, often longer than a term. Remind your child that they don’t need to have everything figured out straight away. And remind yourself that letting go is part of helping them grow.
Ashbourne College continues to care deeply about its alumni, and we’re proud to see them move into this new stage. As parents, your support, encouragement, and quiet confidence in their ability will make more difference than you realise.
For more advice on how to help your child settle into university, you can read our post on ‘What Should You Know Before Your Child Starts University?’.
1. How long does it usually take for students to settle into university life?
Most students take a full term, or even longer, to feel settled at university. The adjustment involves not just academics but also building routines, friendships, and independence, so patience is key.
2. What can parents do when their child feels homesick at university?
Homesickness is common, especially in the first few weeks. Parents can help by staying connected with supportive messages or calls, while also encouraging their child to get involved in campus activities and meet new people.
3. Should I encourage my child to create a routine at university?
Yes, having a basic routine can provide stability during the transition. A balance of lectures, study time, meals, exercise, and rest helps students manage independence without feeling overwhelmed.
4. How can I support my child’s mental health at university?
Remind your child that feeling unsettled is normal and encourage them to use university wellbeing services if needed. Sometimes, just listening without judgment can provide the reassurance they need.